This blog is created for entertainment purpose only. People always lake some fun at a moment or get bored and want to smile then my blog is the place where the will get the smile. It include funny short stories, jokes and pictures.
"A hysterical woman came into the ER. She'd
just had a fight with her boyfriend while sitting in his parked car. She said
she had gotten so mad at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and
put it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't locate the key
to get it out. I couldn't find it either, so we concluded that it must have
fallen out somewhere near her boyfriend's car."
GO FISH
"A man explained that his girlfriend had
tried to take his temperature rectally and 'lost' the thermometer. I could
actually see the glass tip poking out of his rear end, so I got a padded clamp
and gently began pulling. It was a thermometer all right, but one for a fish
tank-more than a foot long!"
HOT BEEF INFECTION
"I was assigned to examine a patient with
stomach pain. The woman turned out to be my high school classmate, but instead
of being happy to see me, she was mortified. She confessed she wasn't suffering
from stomach pain but had gotten something 'stuck.' Hours earlier, she'd
microwaved a frozen hot dog to use as a sex toy. But heating it had softened
the hot dog, and it broke off inside her. I removed it, though I doubt she'll
look me in the eye at our next reunion!"
A frail old man
went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The
old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The
family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's
shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his
spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the
tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do something about grandfather," said the son. I've had
enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband
and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while
the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather
had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when
the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he
ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions
when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in
silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps
on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just
as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and
mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and
went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both
knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather's hand and
gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some
reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was
dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever
listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us
patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate
that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every
day that building blocks are being laid for the child's future.
This year's May 5, 2012. Saturday's event is a "supermoon," the closest and therefore the biggest and brightest full moon of the year.
The Supermoon appears up to 14% larger and 30% brighter than at other times.
The full moon rises behind the Temple of Poseidon in Cape Sounion, south east of Athens, Greece.
The moon rises behind the University Auditorium at the University of Florida as seen from Ben Hill Griffin Stadium in Gainesville Fla., on May 5, 2012.
A 'super moon' rises above a egret nesting area on the west side of Wichita, Kansas USA.
The moon rises next to the Century Tower at the University of Florida as seen from Ben Hill Griffin Stadium in Gainesville, Florida, USA.
The full moon rises behind the Temple of Poseidon in Cape Sounion, south east of Athens, Greece.
One
morning a patient arrives complaining of serious Backache.
The doctor examines him and asks him, "What did you do to your back?"
The patient replies, "You know that I am a bouncer at a local night club?
Well, yesterday morning I got home to my flat quite early and heard a noise in
my bedroom.
On entering I knew someone had been sleeping with my wife as my wife was lying
naked in bed and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and
did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out
of the building and he was dressing himself.
I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him. That's how I strained my back. The
2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor says,
"My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What happened to
you?
The 2nd patient replies, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now
Doctor?
Well yesterday morning was my first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm
and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the
same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge.
The 3rd patient arrives, he looks even worse than then the other two patients
did.
The doctor was shocked. Again he asks, "What happened to you?"
The 3rd patient replied, "Well, I was hiding in a fridge..".